was about to throw myself away and give up and somehow someway I stumbled upon your substack, talk about timing eh, no time to die now I have lots to prove to all the motherfuckers who look down on me.
This was a sick article. I had pretty much the exact same experience in my late teens: Hated life, couldn't bear the thought of "living" like that for 40 years, so I decided to either jump off a roof or stop bitching about everything and start getting my shit together. It's hard, it really, really is, but it's the only way forward that won't ruin you and kill your soul.
No dude, the reason why I want to kill myself but don't it's because it will traumatize my family forever and probably will cause more death since at least one member is also mentally ill.
I don't think I'm better than anyone, I feel inferior, everyone has a job, hobbies, friends, *something* while I struggle daily with basic stuff like bathing, eating, cleaning and all hopes and goals just are washed away by my own incompetence.
The bar of actually living is too high for me, there's nothing to enjoy, nothing to fight for, I'm delaying my suicide and I would like to have the permission to just do it and have the certainty that I won't bother anyone ever again.
My days are the constant killing of the thoughts that demand my suicide by any means. But I also think about my pain and reflect about it; tried therapy and meds for years, they don't work, they don't heal.
Trying to live creates more bad situations and reasons to kill myself. Working for goals? Burn out. Trying to make friends? Harassment and isolation again. Never reaching humanity, never at the height of those "sheeps" (never seen them that way) that don't know suffering (completely lucky and sane) and have a good life.
hello fren. I’ll be honest, i don’t think i can help you. But if you’re willing to indulge me, perhaps i can learn something from you that will help others.
1. What do you estimate your IQ?
2. Are you saying that you have no passions, no skills, and you’ve never felt drawn to any kind of purpose (even one which you think is too crazy and delusional to ever achieve)?
3. what is your relationship with your family like? is it healthy and open and full of trust? do you share with them your struggles or keep it to yourself?
4. What do you spend most of your time doing?
5. do you ever read books or listen to podcasts on things that could improve your skills?
6. what is your approximate age and how long have you felt this way?
was about to throw myself away and give up and somehow someway I stumbled upon your substack, talk about timing eh, no time to die now I have lots to prove to all the motherfuckers who look down on me.
YES LETS FUCKING GO KING!!!!!
THANK YOU BROTHER
Memento Mori
This was a sick article. I had pretty much the exact same experience in my late teens: Hated life, couldn't bear the thought of "living" like that for 40 years, so I decided to either jump off a roof or stop bitching about everything and start getting my shit together. It's hard, it really, really is, but it's the only way forward that won't ruin you and kill your soul.
Great post.
based. subscribed.
The accuracy of assuming I was group two! Found you today. Enjoy your stuff. Thanks for writing.
Reading the the phase "sensitive think boi" made me want to kill myself.
go for it
seems more like the fear of living life not death
No dude, the reason why I want to kill myself but don't it's because it will traumatize my family forever and probably will cause more death since at least one member is also mentally ill.
I don't think I'm better than anyone, I feel inferior, everyone has a job, hobbies, friends, *something* while I struggle daily with basic stuff like bathing, eating, cleaning and all hopes and goals just are washed away by my own incompetence.
The bar of actually living is too high for me, there's nothing to enjoy, nothing to fight for, I'm delaying my suicide and I would like to have the permission to just do it and have the certainty that I won't bother anyone ever again.
My days are the constant killing of the thoughts that demand my suicide by any means. But I also think about my pain and reflect about it; tried therapy and meds for years, they don't work, they don't heal.
Trying to live creates more bad situations and reasons to kill myself. Working for goals? Burn out. Trying to make friends? Harassment and isolation again. Never reaching humanity, never at the height of those "sheeps" (never seen them that way) that don't know suffering (completely lucky and sane) and have a good life.
hello fren. I’ll be honest, i don’t think i can help you. But if you’re willing to indulge me, perhaps i can learn something from you that will help others.
1. What do you estimate your IQ?
2. Are you saying that you have no passions, no skills, and you’ve never felt drawn to any kind of purpose (even one which you think is too crazy and delusional to ever achieve)?
3. what is your relationship with your family like? is it healthy and open and full of trust? do you share with them your struggles or keep it to yourself?
4. What do you spend most of your time doing?
5. do you ever read books or listen to podcasts on things that could improve your skills?
6. what is your approximate age and how long have you felt this way?