The Burgundy Pill: Part 2
breaking plates, why LTRs fail, and how to make women great again
The original Burgundy Pill post was originally about twice as long as the final version, but the second half was piling up incoherently at the bottom. I decided to cut it down rather than risk it ending up in the graveyard of unfinished drafts.
However, this guy had to be an asshole and find it helpful so now I feel a reciprocal obligation to publish more of it. Below is about half of that half, cleaned up and coherent enough that you might extract some value from it. Enjoy.
On Trust And Time Management
“I couldn’t have known” “They just changed!” “They are nothing like the person I married”. How often do you hear stuff like this after people get divorced? Do any of them ever take responsibility? I’ve never seen it personally. It’s not until their second or third divorce that they realize “aw shit. It really was me who was the problem. Guess i’ll work this one out”.
Wherever you go, there you are.
The truth is that no one “changed”, you just never knew each other in the first place. You never even knew yourselves. You didn’t know what you wanted or what you valued because you were dumb kids coasting off the multi-decade long high of post WWII economic and social prosperity where shit just worked. Neither of you knew anything about conflict resolution, because no previous generations needed to know it, and so knew nothing about repairing a relational narrative or contributing to the shared pool of meaning.
If anything did change, it’s mostly just that you became the outgroup. The outgroup is the enemy. And, if you know anything about the wars of the 21st century, you know that the enemy is subhuman. He/she always treated his/her enemies like this. You just weren’t one until after you both spent every day of the last decade publishing never-corrected slander about each other.
The cause of an entire generation (and much of subsequent generations) engaging in what were supposed to be life long relationship with no vetting or stress testing is long and complicated and for another post1, but the solution is rather simple. At least in theory.
First, understand that you aren’t as smart as you think you are. Your intuition about character can only take you so far. You must test your relationships and only offer additional trust as people have earned it.
Second, understand the biggest mistake we all make is to trade trust for time. The longer we’ve known someone the more trust they earn. This methodology can work okay if you are sufficiently stress testing the system throughout. However If you, like most, avoid conflict as long as possible and only after you’re married with children (when your environment is “in production” aka you have no other choice) do you put any load on the system to find that it is built on nothing other than pleasantries and thus completely crumbles… well you’re SOL. Enjoy your divorce rape and future drug abusers of children!
It’s easy for agreeable people to misunderstand this vetting process. To see it as some kind of Machiavellian manipulation. But it’s not about manipulation. Nor ego. Nor withholding. It’s just about self respect. And respect for the good people and the world.
You only have so many hours in your life before you fucking die. Are you going to waste them on superficial fake relationship with people you don’t respect, grow from, or often even connect with? Or worse, with people who treat you like shit but you tolerate simply due to the happenstance of growing up with them?
Every minute you spend with someone you don’t like—someone who has no ambition, no compassion, or no creativity; someone who just wants to take from you and never give anything back—is one less minute for the people who deserve your time; those who want to create, those who are generous and kind, those who light a fire inside your soul.
Every time you say yes to one thing, you say no to everything else. You’d stop placating shitty people and shitty activities real quick if you actually thought about all the great people and great activities you’re saying no to by taking this path of least resistance.
As a man, Your time and attention are your greatest asset. When you give them to things you tell those things that they are good and should continue. When you ignore things you tell those things that they are bad and should stop. When you give your time and attention to shitty women or shitty friends or shitty family you not only communicate to them that what they are doing is good but you also inherently say that all the better people and better activities are bad.
Acknowledge and reward that which pleases you. Ignore that which does not. This alone will do more to change the behavior of others in your life than any other thing you could do, combined. Do this not for you, but for the people who are counting on you; those who today have earned your time, and those in the future, close or distant, who you must pay it forward to.
On Breaking Plates
It’s not that she’s not capable of being a “strong independent wahmen who don’t need no man”. The kind of woman who would be good enough for the kind of man still reading a post like this could easily make good money and do all the “boss bitch” shit if she really had to.
It’s that she doesn’t want to. No woman does. No woman will ever be happy having to try and be a man. She doesn’t want to be equals. She wants to be as good as she can be and for you to just be better.
You don’t owe her your time. But as a human being you do owe her basic decency. Don’t drag it out. If you’re gonna “alpha widow” her then just get it over with. Don’t fuck with her. Just do what you need to do to see if she’s still in the running, and then when she proves herself unworthy, dump her.
Obviously easier said that done. Everyone wants something for nothing. Everyone wants love, affection, appreciation, influence, and power. But if you’re anything like me: the biggest regret I have from my early days of learning game is the women who I knew for sure had no chance of getting upgraded but I never broke it off. Just left them at their plate status and waited for them to slowly wobble off and crash into the ground. Maybe some men can be okay with this. But I still feel guilt to this day for it. And it’s not even necessary about the feels.
A Burgundy Pilled man knows what he wants. A Burgundy Pilled man has abundance and can get what he wants. He can get more women easily and he doesn’t need to unwind women psychologically to eek out a few more weeks of sex at the expense of adding one more scar. It doesn’t matter if she has a dozen already. Would you hit a kid just because his parents hit him? Would you kick a dog just because it’s already dying?
“I’m not making her stay. She is free to go at any time.”
Hm i thought “women were the oldest teenagers in the house”? Would you ascribe this level of agency to a teenager? I certainly wouldn’t. Almost seems like the entire TRP argument of women’s reduced capacity for agency gets thrown out the window when it’s convenient to getting laid. Nice hamster bro!
Every woman is another man’s daughter. What if she were your daughter? I’m not suggesting you make preventing harm to women your top priority. That is gay. Rather, I am pointing out that only men with no options and no integrity are willing to make it their bottom priority.
Continuing to plate women who you have already internally nexted is the same old beta scarcity of you being afraid you’ll be a sexless loser who has to return to cooming rearing its ugly head. What would you do if you had a dozen women hotter than her waiting in line? Do that.
“Every man for himself” is for anti social bugman happy-merchants. And you don’t want to be one of them now do you, anon?
edit: Here’s a 17,000 word expansion on this topic.
Femininity Can Only Survive Inside The Castle Walls
Innocence, naïveté, purity, submission, beauty, kindness, and all the other feminine traits men value in women can only exist in a state of peace. A state of protection. A state of stability.
Those inside of the castle walls are only at peace because its entire perimeter is patrolled by armed, dangerous beasts who ward off all the other armed, dangerous beasts that wish to kill them, take their shit, and rape their women.
Tear down the walls, or leave the perimeter unguarded, and it is only a matter of time before innocence, purity, kindness, and all the rest are destroyed.
Women don’t want to be strong independent brutes. But today they don’t have a choice. Because you and all the other pussies left your posts at the perimeter and are now is sitting around cooming (or “fucking sloots” which is hardly much better), enjoying all the amenities of living inside the castle walls. While you “enjoy the decline”, a decline you and your forefathers were tasked with preventing, the barbarian hoards are rushing in.
Feminism is not a rise of masculinity in women. It is a decline of masculinity in men. Women have not become men, men have just become trash. And any degree to which women have become hardened is only because someone had to do it. It’s “take up the responsibilities men have abdicated or die” as far as they are concerned.
And it’s not like you have to be out there fighting wars, or smashing rocks, or even building companies. Civilization and industry have taken care of much of this (actually, it is most of the reason you’re a wimp in the first place). But you do need to be doing whatever it is that you are the best at. Maybe it’s art maybe it’s philosophy maybe it’s some sport. All that matters is that you are becoming what you should be.
It doesn’t matter if you’re part of the heart or the lungs or spleen or the brain of the human metaorganism. All that matters that you’re doing whatever your organ’s job is, and contributing your share of the work toward the surviving and thriving of the whole.
Women are born valuable and must protect it. Men are born worthless and must become worthy.
High SMV women are just women whose femininity was protected by the castle walls and masculine power from nature and the hostile out group who wish to siphon it from them. All the sloots willing to suck your loser dick for no commitment are just broken women with weak, absent, or abusive fathers (or father surrogates ie school, media, government, etc). You already know this. But you suppress it because it is convenient for getting your dick wet.
Most TRP dudes get that they need to make something of themselves. But, at least thus far, the value most provide is not pro-social, only pro-themselves. They contribute just enough so that they can be free. Probably some big Machevellian sales job so that they can get money, and status, and sex. But on a civilizational scale, they pillage more than they protect.
And perhaps this is the way it should have been. Or at least, the only way it could have been. At least up until this point. The only men disagreeable and narcissistic enough to invent something like TRP or PUA and figure all this shit out are the type of dark triad men driven only to maximize the amoral access to female sexuality and power. The Burgundy Pill is not a call to these men to develop a conscience. That is a fools errand. The purpose of the Burgundy Pill is to make powerful those who already have one.
First, do no harm.
And second: cultivate a world in which the type of women you wish existed, could exist. Maintain the masculine perimeter and the peaceful town square, so that her femininity may unfurl and blossom, beaming with such brilliance that it may envelope your heart and redeems your soul. That is man, and woman, in our most divine form.
okay fine TLDR on why it happened:
Prior to boomers, the person you married was almost always someone in your community and thus was vetted by your friends, family, neighbors, etc years before you were even marriageable. No one needed to consciously and actively do it because it just happened automatically.
By nature of being raised in the same or closely related communities you shared 90% of the same core values and experiences so there was far less to get in conflict about.
The world was way less complex (or at least, its complexity was heavily mapped) and way cheaper (one person working could afford a middle class lifestyle for a whole family; meaning you could specialize much easier, reduces stress and conflict). The latter was half due to the (good) deflation unlocked by the technological innovations of WWII but also half by beginning our drug addiction to national debt and money printing (“Hey it worked out with World War II! Keynes was right! we can just print our way out!”) the consequences of which we are today paying the price.
We still had a Lindy low time preference moral and social framework (ie protestant Christian American nationalism) that people trusted was worth sacrificing their short term preferences toward. By the time the boomers were young adults however, our cohesive meta narrative, murdered by WWII, was not only buried 6 feet deep in total rigor mortis but its grave was being danced upon by all the people in charge of educating them. ie the old order was not only dead but anything that resembled anything close to it was scorned and rejected by all the “smart kids”.
Probably five more but that’s enough for now. Back to the solution.
underrated post